Prior to meeting Big, Fat Missi, Mark dated the effervescent Penny (pictured above).

"I don't have time to teach little girls," Mark noted, "this old broad has taught me a few things."

Mark and Penny dated for 38 years, (smashing Jim & Lori's previously-held dating record), but when Penny developed a foul odor, he became suspicious and opted to pursue the younger, greener pastures of his present wife, Big Fat Missi.

Today, Penny is over 140 years old, and alone.